The Loma Prietan
October 1999
Book Review: Pride & Joy
by Linda Brodman
Pride and Joy: The Lives and Passions of Women Without Children by Terri Casey, Beyond Words Publishing Inc. 1998
[This review appeared earlier this year in the Ventana, the newsletter of the Santa Cruz/Monterey chapter]
Last winter a friend of mine gave me this book after she had heard the author speak at a book signing event in the Bay Area. Like many women who grapple with this decision, my friend Cynthia was curious to read this book because she was at the age where she was thinking, "Do I want children or not?" She thought possibly there would be some helpful answers to her dilemma. I had made this leap several years ago, and decided to be without children. I wondered what stories these women told.
This book is a diverse collection of 25 personal interviews with women who have chosen not to have children. After receiving the book, I scanned the table of contents, which was organized by the individual woman's interview and a brief statement on her background. I wanted to read about the woman who closely matched my decision to be childfree. I realized after reading my first choice how ridiculous this seemed, yet how important it is to validate one of my most critical life decisions.
There are many reasons why women choose to be without children. Most are covered in the book in a very compassionate and real-life way. "Women are interested in hearing stories from other women for whom life turned out well," Casey said in a recent newspaper interview. "And they want to hear ideas and examples of ways to create and nurture and contribute in ways apart from the traditional role of motherhood."
Her 200 (plus) page book looks at women living ordinary lives, and women who did not necessarily wear the 'childness by choice' labels on their sleeves. "Their stories dispel the social myth that women must have children to be happy, and they debunk the stereotypes of childless women." I found this book to be a very quick read, yet thought provoking.
Approximately 20% of the U.S. population of women are currently childfree by chance or choice; this book provides validation and common ground. Pride and Joy offers some self-reflection for millions of women who are deciding to have a child or not. Casey says, &And for those who are friends and family of women who have chosen or may choose not to have children, it offers insight."